NAKED IN PUBLIC - A an advice column. Kinda. A declaration of collective dysfunction of the people, by the people, and for the people.
Les Parapluies De Cherbourg, Jacques Demy, 1964
I am #nakedinpublic:
- "PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN" applies double in relationships. Trust me.
Here's one: Wear a ring when you go out on first dates. That way, if it sucks, you can simply put it on *that* finger when they go to the bathroom. And surprise them when they come back. WOOPS. You forgot! You're married! You're so silly. It's been fun! Gotta go!!
- By the way, your ex is stalking you on instagram. Like, now. Right now.
- ...And also on twitter. And maybe facebook. I hope you don't have a YouTube channel.
- Unless your ex is Ryan Gosling. Because Ryan Gosling would NEVER do that.
- Ever.
- Hey Girl. If your boyfriend drives a Saab, he's *so* responsible. You should start lying about your birth control. Or run away. Depending on, you know, what your intended purposes are.
- If she didn't touch you while you were hanging out. YOU ARE IN THE FRIEND ZONE. Get in your Saab, drive home, and get back on OKCupid. You are welcome.
- Thanks a lot Anna. You've blown our cover. I will discuss this with you at the next Ryan-Gosling-Related-Acts-of-Public-Indecency-Anonymous (RGRAPIA) meeting.
Ugh - NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered "inappropriate"
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) January 14, 2013
I think my work here is done. @jessicabrookman
Do you want to see what 2012 looked like over here?
I did a YEAR IN PHOTOS post. January - June & July - December.
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